I don't know why it is but I seem to post a lot more when I am depressed. I am so down right now. I feel like nothing is right and that I am just failing at everything I want to do.
I want to lose weight but I can't stop eating.
I want to get in shape but work out for a day and then quit.
I want to save money and pay off my bills but instead I spend it on frivolous stuff or food that makes me fat... see above.
I worked out some at work tonight since I heard it can elevate your mood, I hope it kicks in soon. Woody just ordered pizza but because I told him I am trying to not spend money on going out to eat anymore he has stated that I am not allowed to have any pizza because he is not running a charity. I thought he would understand and support me in trying to be better with money but instead he is acting like a petulant child. It irks me but you know what I don't need pizza anyways. I am fat enough already.
I am also wallowing in a sea of "I'm never going to be pregnant" misery. I have already convinced myself that this next IUI is a failure and I haven't even had it yet. How depressing. I wish I had some hope but I just feel like I am out. I think it doesn't help that I am not entirely sure we have money for any other treatments for awhile. Ugh! I need to post every so often about happy things..... :( I just want to crawl in bed and cry... of course Woody wants to watch a movie.
You shouldn't beat yourself up about this sort of things. We all have days that seem never ending. I sometimes feel like I'm bi-polar or something because my feelings drastically change. I constantly tell DH that I will never be a mother and the following day I feel optimistic. This journey tends to get the best of all of us but if you stick to it you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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