I am feeling a little more positive this morning. Not because I think I am pregnant but just I don't know. I am not as sad. I guess I have just already accepted that my period will show her ugly head tomorrow. I wish I knew why it was taking so long. What if I am not able to have kids of my own? Woody is talking about getting his sperm checked. I hope he will since that will give us another answer and unfortunately I don't have health insurance at the moment. I am thinking of buying the conception kit. It is $350 though. I mean that is a lot of money but ahhhh I just want to be pregnant already and I am willing to try anything at this point.
I also need to really focus on losing weight. It is so important. I mean what if being fat is keeping me from getting pregnant? I just need to buckle down. I know how to do it. Now I just need to do it. Ever since we started trying to have a baby it seems like that is all I have energy and will power to do. Maybe I need to change some of my focus for a little. I am not saying I am stopping trying but maybe not obsess as much. Ugh I don't know. I just don't like myself right now and my lack of discipline.
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